Bribing Cats to be my Friends.

There’s this female cat living on a storage house beside our property.

I think she was the one I saw with her kittens back when our house was still being built.

Last year, I’ve started calling her over and has been offering her food. She just had one kitten then. I don’t know if I should call it kitten since it was fully grown.

Anyway, it’s been a year and she has another fully-grown kitten with her. The mom is still a bit spicy to this day and both kittens are very shy (they scamper if you get close) but they do approach when food is involved.

We are now at a level in our relationship that she rubs herself on my leg and give me a very spicy hiss after. Like it was my fault that my leg was touching her.

I fed her and the kids a bit of pork skin and fat from my lunch. The eldest of the kids then found a fairly large grasshopper and proceeded to eat it. I guess, the piece of pork wasn’t enough.

I’ve been contemplating if I should start intentionally feed them. There won’t be a risk of them inviting their other relatives over to partake in my feeding program since it’s just the three of them. The mom is also a bit territorial when there are other cats passing through.

I don’t have plans on naming them as of the moment because they’re still feral. Maybe I’ll start naming them once I get to put them on my lap without getting hissed/scratched at. That’s for another time.

Sera’s plan to befriend cats:

• Step 1: condition them to see you as the food source.
• Step 2: offer food using your hands to make them approach you. If they’re still wary, put them on the grown about a foot from you.
• Step 3: continue step 2 until they’re comfortable eating with you watching.
• Step 4: slowly introduce pets. Must be careful about those claws.
• Step 5: repeat step 4 until they come to you for pets even without food.
• Step 6: kidnap adopt the cats.

Seems a solid enough plan. I already have step 1 down and working on step 2. They sometimes take food from my hand but I’m also hesitant about offering my fingers in case they (the mom especially) decides to take a swipe at them.

The next part is deciding what to give them as food. Human food? Dry cat food? Wet cat food?

I have to consider the logistics of it all. Not to mention the monetary side.

I know that human food is not recommended but the alternative, for now, is no food at all. I am picky at what I give them: protein only but I can’t avoid seasonings since it was cooked for humans. My logic is since they’re scavenging in the dumpster anyway for rotten human food, my offerings are a lesser evil since mine are either given the same day I ate them, or stored in the refrigerator for the succeeding days.

The other food option is cat food. I’m thinking about going for the kibbles since it won’t spoil as quickly and I can always soak it in a bit of water before serving. But then, it will be a bit hard to follow step 2 if it’s wet. Should I leave this for step 4?

The next question is: which cat food? Cheapest isn’t ideal since they’re known to give kidney issues. I can’t also go for the recommended ones since those are very expensive and I have 3 to feed.

How often will I feed them? Will I be the main source of food or just the occasional neighbor with the free food?

So many questions and I’m still in step 2.